Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 12

In a truly ridiculous day of electioneering when Julia Gillard announced that from now on we'll be seeing "The Real JuliaT™", a point each for these...

@annabelcrabb Hope she doesn't get confused with Raul Julia. Could be messy

@KRuddMP Great to be out of hospital. The staff were all terrific. Many thanks to them all. KRudd
@tonyowright Julia has returned to campaign HQ to tell those who told her to admit she was faking it last week that it was a stupid idea
@puffinpie NO FUCKING JOKE KANYE AT THE TABLE NEXT TO ME HOPE HE TWITTERS ABOUT ME PRONTO
@Antmerker Robert Peston *is* a serious journalist, isn't he? He sounds like a monged theramin.

But really, I should be giving all the points to myself because I WAS ON FIRE TODAY. Here's the funny stuff I, as nightwatchman tweeted...

First a few story leads to the star journalist of the election so far, Laurie Oakes with:

Say "MOVING FORWARD" into a mirror three times and absolutely nothing happens. #OakesTips
In 1994, Kevin's cousin Phil was welcomed back into ACDC after 11 year's of leaking backstage groupie stories to the media. #OakesTips
Christopher Pyne has so many cutesy Korean plastic ornaments on his dashboard, he has to sit on a phone book while driving. #OakesTips

And then to Q and A. They were all having a fight fight fight about having a debate and whether the leaders will appear on the show. So this one was obvious.

I prefer qanda because it's a mass debate. #qanda

Can't imagine why that wasn't printed on the screen. The show was filmed in Queensland. They started to talk bored-band...

With fast broadband Queenslanders only ten years behind the times. #qanda
Queenslander audience angry about net filter because they love porn. #qanda

I crack myself right up.

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 11

Today's double point jackpot goes to The Age's Tony Wright:

tonyowright  What is it about elections and blokes' plumbing? Latham's pancreatitis, Hawkie's prostate 1990. Now Kevin's gallbladder. #ausvotes

Sometimes I think only he and the Fin Review's Laura Tingle are the only people worth reading during this campaign.

Special mention to ABC's Mark Colvin and Channel Ten's Sandra Sully who had a Twitterfight over what constitutes a scoop last night.

It was quite hilarious.

And pointless.

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 10

Nope. Nobody was good enough to get the points today. Too much carrying on about The Chaser and The Gruen Transfer's election thingy.

So that means today's points jackpot tomorrow.

Get witty.

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 9

Today one point to each of these...

LaurieOakes Stronger,more passionate and PMish Gillard this morning.If leaks have broken the shackles of blandness, it's a good thing.

michellegrattan how does the abbott team tie colour co-ordination work? who's in charge of it?

tonyowright On the Manly ferry, dolphins dancing, mist shrouding Sydney, about to walk with TAbbott. Campaign trail is he'll. #ausvotes

IanMartin The wind may famously have cried Mary, but this morning my digestive system screams Dyspepsia.

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 8

The ALP's public transport policy manual, yesterday.

On a day when most of Melbourne was either stuck at the train station or stuck in traffic, the Election Tweeting League winner was obvious.

4 points to the Greens' Melbourne candidate, AdamBandt

The major parties should stop talking about the boats and start talking about the trains.

Simple stuff really. But even though it's a state issue, public transport is a quiet nag to the ALP. In Sydney, the state government are completely twattified on public transport and in Melbourne, the Libs could have a fair shake at the November election with the Myki ticketing farce and terrible travel days like today.

Strangely, Gillard last week several times linked population growth with gridlock traffic frustration in those mythical Western Sydney seats. I say strangely because the traffic frustration has fuck all to do with population growth. It's more to do with all governments passing the buck and refusing to spend on seriously ambitious infrastructure.

And this election campaign is seriously devoid of any ambition.

Toot toot.

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 7

If I could vote for myself I would today because I had one of my tweets printed on the TV screen during tonight's episode of qanda. My lovely girlie thought my tweet wasn't deserved of it's airing because it was a "suck-up" and "substandard". Well, that might be the case but I'm officially a famous and respected pundit. The ABC says so. So there.

Anyway, today's points.

Two points each for...

@David_Speers Abbott survives #730reportland. This discipline must be driving the alp mad

@Safran_john Malcolm, why don't rich people wear monocles anymore? #qanda

LADDER
ChasLicc 5
KRuddMP 4
Therese_Rein 3
jmdonellan 3
sealfur 3
IanMartin 3
David_Speers 2
Safran_john 2
msstox 2
mariekehardy 2
DT_13 2
MayneReport 1

2010 Election Tweeting League: Debate Day More Points

Okay, big debate night and I've got more points to give out. I'll get straight to it.

4 points to ChasLicc No surprise the worm is loving the “Stop the Boats” talk. Worms love eating shit
3 points to jmdonellan Glad to see that the age of skilled political debate isn't dead, it's just been beaten, maimed and had 'fair dinkum' carved on its face.
Another 3 to sealfur Someone let that person with bicycle move past. Thanks.
And 2 to DT_13 Watching my first episode of master chef, I now understand what all the fuss is about - go the young fella!! Yew

LADDER

ChasLicc         5

KRuddMP       4
Therese_Rein  3
jmdonellan      3

sealfur             3

IanMartin        3
msstox             2

mariekehardy  2
DT_13             2

MayneReport  1

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 4

So the Heraldsun are running a tweet of the day thing and I think it was today they gave their gong to Therese Rein. She certainly can pack some pretty attractive language into her 140 characters.

I've given her 3 points today for this:

Should explain that "Aaarghhh!!!" is written-down semi-strangulated sound. Onomatapaeic. Useful shorthand for expressing frustration.

Read into it what you will.

And 1 point to the always angry, MayneReport for:

Richo signs with Seven for political punditry, that ends a 20 year connection with 9 and reflects Packer sale. No one should pay that bloke.

Ooohhh Sir!

LADDER

KRuddMP       4
Therese_Rein  3
IanMartin        3
msstox             2

mariekehardy  2
ChasLicc         1

MayneReport  1

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 3

Like our cricket team, Australian Twitterers put in a pissweak performance today.

3 points goes to the always brilliant Brit, IanMartin (you MUST visit his website, Martian.fm)who wasn't even talking about our election campaign with:

'We're modernising your ass by dropping some dope traditional Dickensian shit like the Office of Tax Simplification' #LOLthatisSOCoalition

And 1 point to The Chaser's ChasLicc for one of the only good ones I read about Abbott on Hey Hey It's Doomsday.

Poor old Abbott: the things he has to do to avoid being asked about Workchoices. #heyhey

Suppose everyone was in too much shock to type.

LADDER

KRuddMP       4
IanMartin        3
msstox             2

mariekehardy  2
ChasLicc         1

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 2

Today's a dead heat.

Two points each go to:

mariekehardy  'He was once asked to leave the cricket, not for being drunk but for singing too loudly'.Mr. French, I fancy you. http://tinyurl.com/29chlmf

msstox  Have abandoned #insight. A young single mum who was struggling in education listed her biggest issue as national debt. So she's voting Lib.

Well done, ladies.

LADDER

KRuddMP       4
msstox             2

mariekehardy  2

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 1

Each day of the election I will judge the best election tweet from the people I follow. Best tweet gets 4 points, and if there's a draw between tweets, I'll share them out. You get the general idea.

Winner of the Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League will be sent a trophy. And before you ask, I don't follow any fakeblahblah tweeters because I find the whole fakeblahblah thing tedious.

Now to announce the Day 1 result. Envelope please. Today's winner gets the whole 4 points and it's.....

KRuddMP!

for this touching little tweet:

Back to being a parent today. I drove Marcus to school. A minor miracle that I still know how to drive. KRudd

The Ladder

KRuddMP    4