Melbourne: Relaxed And Comfortable

Meet Rathdowne Street, Carlton in Shadow Finance Minister, Lyndsay Tanner's safe Labor seat of Melbourne. Every election, pundits get carried away saying the seat could go to the Greens but it never happens and never will.

Even now with the always irritable Dean Mighell (pronounced Mile but gee, MIG-HELL is an awesome Commie name!), and his Electrical Trades Union funding a big bit of Greens' candidate Adam Bandt's campaign, they don't have a chance.

$20,000 is bugger all really, barely funding a mailout, a billboard or a free beer bbq. Labor will probably spend at least 10 times more on that seat alone.

Besides, the area is under constant demographic change: spinach and hollandaise has become in four years caramelized onion, blackberry and truffle oil jus the area's standard cafe breakfast side dish. Apart from the planned destruction of the lovely vistas pictured, house and apartment prices have soared since last election and it's almost impossible to rent a one bedroom hovel for under $350 a week.

Melbourne's voters are 'relaxed and comfortable' and as a pundit, it's my duty to generalize. Sticking issues will be interest rates, Work Choices, new Rudd, childcare, taxes, Work Choices and interest rates. Not forests, the war, Haneef, uranium and climate change as the Greens claim.

And Mighell's grudge donation won't stick. The Greens will never be a credible and listened to voice on workplace laws.

The Liberals won't bother with the seat and will send in a potato with eyes held on with toothpicks as their candidate.

My tip for the seat?

Collingwood by 38 points.