Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 8

The ALP's public transport policy manual, yesterday.
On a day when most of Melbourne was either stuck at the train station or stuck in traffic, the Election Tweeting League winner was obvious.

4 points to the Greens' Melbourne candidate, AdamBandt

The major parties should stop talking about the boats and start talking about the trains.


Simple stuff really. But even though it's a state issue, public transport is a quiet nag to the ALP. In Sydney, the state government are completely twattified on public transport and in Melbourne, the Libs could have a fair shake at the November election with the Myki ticketing farce and terrible travel days like today.

Strangely, Gillard last week several times linked population growth with gridlock traffic frustration in those mythical Western Sydney seats. I say strangely because the traffic frustration has fuck all to do with population growth. It's more to do with all governments passing the buck and refusing to spend on seriously ambitious infrastructure.

And this election campaign is seriously devoid of any ambition.

Toot toot.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Greatest Moment During The Election Campaign So Far


Shimmy!

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 7

If I could vote for myself I would today because I had one of my tweets printed on the TV screen during tonight's episode of qanda. My lovely girlie thought my tweet wasn't deserved of it's airing because it was a "suck-up" and "substandard". Well, that might be the case but I'm officially a famous and respected pundit. The ABC says so. So there.

Anyway, today's points.

Two points each for...

@David_Speers Abbott survives #730reportland. This discipline must be driving the alp mad

@Safran_john Malcolm, why don't rich people wear monocles anymore? #qanda

LADDER
ChasLicc 5
KRuddMP 4
Therese_Rein 3
jmdonellan 3
sealfur 3
IanMartin 3
David_Speers 2
Safran_john 2
msstox 2
mariekehardy 2
DT_13 2
MayneReport 1

Sunday, July 25, 2010

2010 Election Tweeting League: Debate Day More Points

Okay, big debate night and I've got more points to give out. I'll get straight to it.

4 points to ChasLicc No surprise the worm is loving the “Stop the Boats” talk. Worms love eating shit
3 points to jmdonellan Glad to see that the age of skilled political debate isn't dead, it's just been beaten, maimed and had 'fair dinkum' carved on its face.
Another 3 to sealfur Someone let that person with bicycle move past. Thanks.
And 2 to DT_13 Watching my first episode of master chef, I now understand what all the fuss is about - go the young fella!! Yew

LADDER
ChasLicc         5
KRuddMP       4
Therese_Rein  3
jmdonellan      3
sealfur             3
IanMartin        3
msstox             2
mariekehardy  2
DT_13             2
MayneReport  1

Typing Commentary #2: The Debate

Gillard's opening statement and she's had a little laugh at moving forward and the worm is dippin. I can't believe it. 60 Minutes has two worms, a male and a female. This already makes me feel dumb. How are the other stations covering it? Oh, Channel 7 have three fucking worms! A female, a male and the white one is a ring worm. All Channel 7's worms run together when Abbott speaks. On 9, contrary to popular media relief, the female worm has a full on crush for Tony Abbott, especially when he says he wants schools run by parents or something or rather.

Obviously I'm not listening to a word anyone has to say because neither are saying anything.

Chris Uhlman asks if they have the courage to stand out from the mob. Julia talks up My School and some OH&S policy. Boring subjects but at least she's talking more about her term in office rather than a vapid future. Abbott in a deft move whacks in with his paid parental leave policy. Kills it.

Now Laura Tingle pulls Abbott up on how the Libs championed a rise in population policy during their term and killed it today by half. He stands by it and all 5 worms on both networks love him for it. Gillard points out her policies are exactly the same. Worms love her more for it, especially when she points out she stopped the flow of overseas students. Amazingly, in his feeble attempt of attack, throws Gillard a Dorothy Dixer asking about the connection between her policy and immigration. Worms thank him for it.

Laura Tingle points out that governments may need to avoid striving to surplus. Will she? In two minutes of this and that, she doesn't answer it.

Several minutes have gone by. I'm not enjoying this. I've looked at Twitter. Everything Bob Brown tweets gets retweeted hundreds of times. Maybe he should have been asked to attend. But then again Chas Licciardello is getting retweeted a lot too. Maybe he should have been invited too. But seriously, Bob Brown should have been invited to come on. It would have shook things up a bit. Oh, and it would be nice if someone actually answered a journalist's question.

Gillard is rubblish on an ETS and Abbott does alright again.

Laura Tingle asks about troops to Afghanistan. Abbott calls them heroes but doesn't answer the question. Same with Gillard. More troops? Less troops? Exit? No answers from both.

This debate is sucking the life out of me. Nothing I type is entertaining. It's a bumper to bumper low speed car accident, nobody gets hurt, but both cars get wrecked. 

Winner?

Neither Gillard and Abbott.

The female worm was on top all night.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 4

So the Heraldsun are running a tweet of the day thing and I think it was today they gave their gong to Therese Rein. She certainly can pack some pretty attractive language into her 140 characters.

I've given her 3 points today for this:
Should explain that "Aaarghhh!!!" is written-down semi-strangulated sound. Onomatapaeic. Useful shorthand for expressing frustration.
Read into it what you will.
And 1 point to the always angry, MayneReport for:
Richo signs with Seven for political punditry, that ends a 20 year connection with 9 and reflects Packer sale. No one should pay that bloke.
Ooohhh Sir!

LADDER
KRuddMP       4
Therese_Rein  3
IanMartin        3
msstox             2
mariekehardy  2
ChasLicc         1
MayneReport  1

Arrogance or Bias?

This is Kerry O'Brien's introduction to his interview last night with Joe Hockey.
"After interviewing Julia Gillard on Monday, we were hoping Tony Abbott would be available last night or tonight to balance the scales."

"Mr Abbott couldn't make it tonight. He's on another television program called 'Hey, Hey, It's Saturday' with Daryl Somers on their Red Faces segment, so his Shadow Treasurer, Joe Hockey, is here now to fill the breach."

"I understand you were complaining today about Labor trivialising this election campaign, but before we get to that, are there any Paris Hilton lines you want to share with us tonight?"
While it's no doubt amusing and I mostly agree what he said, the Libs would have a good case for calling Kerry O'Brien out on bias with this. O'Brien has been in terrific form in the past couple of months but (cliche locked and loaded), if he had this time again he'd write the introduction differently.

Or not.

This morning on ABC's AM they played the introduction in full. Real proud of themselves, that ABC bunch lately, see what we did there we made Hockey look like an amateur, we made him look stupid hurumph hurumph.

Hockey can do that pretty well himself without all that.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 3

Like our cricket team, Australian Twitterers put in a pissweak performance today.

3 points goes to the always brilliant Brit, IanMartin (you MUST visit his website, Martian.fm)who wasn't even talking about our election campaign with:
'We're modernising your ass by dropping some dope traditional Dickensian shit like the Office of Tax Simplification' #LOLthatisSOCoalition
And 1 point to The Chaser's ChasLicc for one of the only good ones I read about Abbott on Hey Hey It's Doomsday.
Poor old Abbott: the things he has to do to avoid being asked about Workchoices. #heyhey
Suppose everyone was in too much shock to type.

LADDER
KRuddMP       4
IanMartin        3
msstox             2
mariekehardy  2
ChasLicc         1

In Case You Missed Tony Abbot Judging Red Faces


There were dancing poodles too.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 2

Today's a dead heat.

Two points each go to:

mariekehardy  'He was once asked to leave the cricket, not for being drunk but for singing too loudly'.Mr. French, I fancy you. http://tinyurl.com/29chlmf

msstox  Have abandoned #insight. A young single mum who was struggling in education listed her biggest issue as national debt. So she's voting Lib.

Well done, ladies.

LADDER
KRuddMP       4
msstox             2
mariekehardy  2

Hey Julia, Why Be Afraid Of The Past?

Labor's Moving Forward safe tedium spew tactic is an adequate foil against cries of backdowns, waste and buggering of insulation, Budwhadever Eduwhatsits Revolution and the ETS, but it does only that.

It's okay to talk about the good stuff. Yeah, you can even sound like you have vision talking about the good stuff. Pity Gillard's election opening speech didn't shopping-list like this:
"I am also very proud of our government's achievements, such as the apology to the Stolen Generations, repealing Workchoices, increasing aged, disability and carer's pensions, the National Broadband Network, and huge additional investments in health and education."
"More than anything else, though, I'm pleased to have played a role in averting deep recession and soaring unemployment that emerged from the global financial crisis in many other countries."
Doesn't that sound neat? It's straight and clean. No mentions of the bad stuff, nor a bleating of a cliche and there's almost, when you hear it altogether like that, a glimpse at what Labor stands for.

Best of all, this speaker isn't afraid of the past. Neither is he afraid of the stuff that made his party and Leader, until a few months ago, of the most popular in history.

Where does the quote come from?

Lyndsay Tanner's goodbye letter to his Melbourne electorate, that's where.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League: Day 1

Each day of the election I will judge the best election tweet from the people I follow. Best tweet gets 4 points, and if there's a draw between tweets, I'll share them out. You get the general idea.

Winner of the Drover's Dog 2010 Election Tweeting League will be sent a trophy. And before you ask, I don't follow any fakeblahblah tweeters because I find the whole fakeblahblah thing tedious.

Now to announce the Day 1 result. Envelope please. Today's winner gets the whole 4 points and it's.....

KRuddMP!

for this touching little tweet:

Back to being a parent today. I drove Marcus to school. A minor miracle that I still know how to drive. KRudd

The Ladder

KRuddMP    4

Moving Forward, Vuvuzelas And Imbeciles

I'm not going to bother putting too much effort into complaining about the whole Julia Gillard Moving Forward cliche spew attack.

Writing an article about the phrase is as original as writing something about how annoying vuvuzelas sound.

The subject is best left to my clear writing, eloquently ranting, superhero, Don Watson who told the Herald Sun:
"It is the cliche of our times. When she started trotting it out I walked away after five minutes. I couldn't stand it any more."

"I don't know why they think it's a winner. And if it is a winner, then I'm even more dumbstruck. It's hard to imagine what the alternative to 'moving forward' is. I don't know - moving backwards? I suppose that's what she's trying to establish"
"People think the only way you can make a political point or persuade people of an argument is to treat them like imbeciles. It's like training a dog."

"She may as well go and stand on a hill and send up a smoke signal. That would have more meaning."
Enough said.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Typing Commentary #1: Julia Gillard On 60 Minutes

Watching the Julia Gillard Charles Wooley 60 Minutes flirt piece giggling condescension interspew and I'm having second thoughts about writing about this election.

Oh no, Charles has got sombre and Julia has joined him, talking in down voice about Afghanistan. It's only getting worse. Bravery, bravery, bravery, honor and staying the course.

Now Charles is going for asylum seekers and she's staying sombre voice. Charles has mentioned Latham and racism and Julia "can understand why people are concerned and how having those concerns isn't racism." She's getting rid of labels and we ask, what is "political correctness"?

Charles wants to ask about Julia stabbing Kevin. Charles didn't enjoy Kevin's tears. Julia was "concerned for him". But she's the PM. Julia won and she's moving forward.

Charles says Australia sheilas are tough in such a fricken a woo woo woo way. He's speaking to her like she's an idiot. I want to punch him.  He's asked about her partner, Tim because that's his job. It's a flirt piece and this is terrible.

What do we learn?

Nothing.

Just it's gonna be an awful five weeks.

We're Back, 2010 On Again

I'm going to cover the 2010 election.

This election we have a fresh PM with blood from the previous PM's blood still dripping on her hands and a smarmy swine for an opposition leader.

And it looks like the election will be fought on immigration policy.

Yes, I'm going to have a lot to rant about.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Before You Get Too Excited About The Election Result, Stop Everything And Listen To This

Listen to this Sydney PEN lecture by brilliant Melbourne writer, Christos Tsiolkas about tolerance which was aired on Radio National's Book Show last week.

You know him. He wrote Loaded, the book which was made into the infamous but way awesome Alex Dimitriades movie, Head On.

What a lecture.

Spicy.

Biting.

Aggressive.

And an exact explanation why I can't stand either of the political parties and why I'm so disappointed with the left.

Spot on.

Wow etc.

By the way, Tsiolkas' 2005 novel, Dead Europe is a ball tearer, one of the most confronting yet beautifully written things I've read in years.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Story Of The Entire Campaign Told By The Giants Of Oz Rock/Pop!

Men and women of Australia, behold some of the lamest election analysis ever attempted.









Sunday, October 21, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

Game On Moles






Let the shithouse game begin.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Boy Bashed To Death And Then The Election Campaign Gets A Whole Lot Filthier

On a day when dunce Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews should be answering questions about 4 Corners’ Liz Jackson interview with Dr Haneef, he instead throws up a despicable wedge.

Citing the bashing murder of 18 year-old Sudanese boy, Liep Gony in Noble Park, Andrews back-announces a cutback in immigration from war torn African countries because…wait for it…
"Some groups don’t seem to be settling and adjusting into the Australian way of life."

"I have been concerned that some groups don't seem to be settling and adjusting into the Australian way of life as quickly as we would hope and therefore it makes sense to put the extra money in to provide extra resources, but also to slow down the rate of intake from countries such as Sudan."
But Andrews' stupidity and desperation gets worse.

The alleged attackers were not African.

Two Noble Park men, David Rintoull, 22, and Dylan Sabatino, 19 have been charged with Gony's murder. A girl, 17, is facing other charges.

For this it’s simple. Andrews must now resign from public life.

Not just him. His spokeswoman connected the attack and her department’s plans to cutback on taking in Sudanese just doesn’t get it. From the Herald Sun:
"It's more anecdotal (evidence)," she said, citing media reports of some serious crimes involving Sudanese. "A lot of people from African regions need extensive trauma and torture counselling."
No shit. That is your department’s responsibility, not reason to hit them some more. And it's a tough but ultimately worthwhile gig. Just listen to the incredible Late Night Live interview with ex-child Sierra Leone soldier, Ishmael Beah and you'll start to get a tiny idea of how hard it is on children who've grown up with war and how difficult their recuperation can be.

Phong Nguyen, chairman of Ethnic Communities Council of Victoria has it nailed, making the point to The Age that any refugee programs should be based on need and that,
"Selecting refugees on perceptions of their capacity to integrate borders on racism."

"It is simply inhumane for the Australian government to close the door on these people based on perceptions that some African refugees are not integrating into the Australian community," "As with all refugees, their initial settlement period will face challenges and the Australian African community is currently facing discrimination and racism."
Violence in Noble Park isn't new.

I know the place well.

My own German migrant grandparents, Oma and Opa lived there for many years. I hung out and grew up on the weekends in those streets in the 80's with Croat, Viet, Italian, Greek and German local kids and yep, some of them were thugs. There's always been bashings and stabbings there but we all mucked around together at the local pinnie joint, playing Frogger together no matter where we came from. Once we gossiped about a kid down the creek who got stabbed in the neck. Johnny and Tommy, the Crows next door knew him well, but weren't too concerned because a homemade bomb was found under their mum's car a week before.

What's the hard to make out camera photo? Something I saw a week before all this flared up. As I was already in an emotional Grand Final week state, this scene almost made me cry. A bunch of nine to eleven year-old Sudanese and Ethiopian kids on the Rathdowne Street housing commission estate playing Australian Rules football. Watched them for ten minutes and boy, they were REALLY GOOD. Drop punts, torps, baulks, marks and a cry of DIDAK!!! Watching, I felt dizzy and proud.

Bunch of despicable arse, the African kids aren't integrating.